just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
