she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize