porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
