Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
