so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
