I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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