also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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