oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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