shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
