hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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