I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
