you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
