Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
