I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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