WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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