i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
