i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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