so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
