just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
