I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I FOUND THE LEGS
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
