So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
