How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
