I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
