There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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