Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
