Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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