Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
