Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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