Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
