you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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