we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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