Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
