So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My vagina is officially offended.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
