i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
