Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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