im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
