Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
