I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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