the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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