it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
