5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
