Already got asked if we're dating
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
