I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.