dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize