I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
