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• (716): View more from New York

  I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.

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• (805): View more from California

  Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check

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• (530): View more from California

  Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.

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