why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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