Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment

Fav 3 977 3117
share tweet
(224): View more from Illinois

he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"

Fav 44 7922 4715
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.

Fav 13 10298 1401
share tweet
(701): View more from North Dakota

how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?

Fav 6 3914 1175
share tweet
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(304): View more from West Virginia

The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.

Fav 9 2349 732
share tweet
(636): View more from Missouri

You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased

(314): View more from Missouri

Please be lying.

(636): View more from Missouri

Im not. Your family was creeped out

Fav 8 1371 2249
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.

Fav 6 1201 645
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

This place is a maelstrom of dicks.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!

Fav 1 215 259
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.

Fav 1 9 44
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT