Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

You surviving the open bar?

(1-512): View more from Texas

Super asto ex polenta omaha botad

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi

(214): View more from Texas

ok, stay where you are, be there soon

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.

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(636): View more from Missouri

trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.

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