Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
