Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA

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  (203): i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA http://tfl.nu/d77g
  Replies (14) Good night (4631) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.

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  (617): Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston. http://tfl.nu/p3k5
  Replies (56) Good night (3782) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.

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  (713): Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake. http://tfl.nu/b27h
  Replies (19) Good night (576) Bad night (5068) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.

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  (435): She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/8hnp
  Replies (29) Good night (6802) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American

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  (254): He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American http://tfl.nu/3hjs
  Replies (29) Good night (2637) Bad night (1981) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.

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  (503): I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs. http://tfl.nu/iho1
  Replies (19) Good night (3307) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?

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  (205): remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea? http://tfl.nu/cz0w
  Replies (3) Good night (1510) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again

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  (561): She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again http://tfl.nu/1qi4
  Replies (3) Good night (2185) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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  (716): I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine. http://tfl.nu/zg3z
  Replies (9) Good night (3607) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face

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  (802): i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face http://tfl.nu/in3q
  Replies (6) Good night (663) Bad night (1560) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot

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  (304): yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot http://tfl.nu/grz5
  Replies (2) Good night (1140) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.

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  (843): Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex. http://tfl.nu/rb17
  Replies (11) Good night (404) Bad night (1713) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.

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  (503): I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work. http://tfl.nu/c4w1
  Replies (4) Good night (1117) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.

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  (573): I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed. http://tfl.nu/ml69
  Replies (2) Good night (344) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.

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  (707): I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy. http://tfl.nu/am87
  Replies (6) Good night (538) Bad night (169) Order T-Shirt

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