Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
