I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
