I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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