Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
