is your mom at the bar?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Is it because I queefed?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
