We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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