whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
