its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My balls are so social today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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