why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable