So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
