people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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