I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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