I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
