Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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