Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
