For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
