I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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