12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
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It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Who died my cat blue again?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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