This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
