living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
