she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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