I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
