i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
