watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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