I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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